Let your heart break as many times as possible, these will be the greatest moments of your life

choices, fitness, healing, health, healthy lifestyle, inspiration, inspire, life, mindfulness, motivation, peace, recovery, reflection, roller derby, roller skating, skating, strength, therapy, wellness, yoga

Day 20 into the 30 days of skating challenge!

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I got to do a bunch of yoga today,  trail skate, and ref a bout 🙂 An amazing day with great people, doing things we love doing ❤

Our Zebra crew tonight was pretty bad ass 😀

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Yoga was a great way to get started, and I always do yoga on a bout day! Since I, like MANY, spend way too much time in my own head, over-thinking shit. Yoga clears the slate so I can see with clear eyes and an open heart. A hard practice leads to VERY happy things. 

Yoga and skating always challenge me and there is always room to grow, so there’s so much appeal 🙂

What holds true for skating holds true for yoga, and really life altogether.

“Let your heart break as many times as possible, these will be the greatest moments of your life.” – Christy Lecuyer

Christy says this at the end of yoga practices, and most of the time I’m like, “fuck yeah!” and sometimes I’m like, “FUCK YOU.”

Today’s practice was more of the latter 😛

Peace, love,  light, and holy God my ass is still sore from this week’s training. WOW. So holding an unsupported Dragon for a while sucked. I got maaaaad.

Just as I was breathing like an anger-breathing dragon, Christy says, “think of someone you need to forgive” and I started with her and then ran through a whole list. Two things hit me : 1) I am human and healing is part of my journey and 2) this is my choice to stay in this posture that I usually don’t hold this way for this long.

Once again, the whole concept of free will hit me. A yoga instructor is our guide. We ultimately decide what to do in the practice.

This hits every note in life. We are the only ones in control of our actions. Blaming others for our mistakes, lies, and self-abusive shit only strips the freedom of free will from us.

A big shift is happening, and lots of room has been made for growth and opportunity. With change comes the unknown, and facing what is holding us back. 

It happens in steps, in moments, each breath, one at a time.

So, though I abhor hearing her say it, every time it’s exactly what I need to hear. 

Just let it break. It’s our job to figure out what to fill in the spaces between 🙂

I only want good stuff to go in there, and I have the power to choose what to let inside ❤

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Yer ass belongs to ME!

fitness, health, healthy lifestyle, inspiration, inspire, motivation, roller derby, roller skating, RollerCon, skating, sports, weight loss, wellness, yoga

NEW MUSE NEW MUSE NEW MUSE

I get a bit excited when my favorite band…well whenever they do anything,  but especially when they make MOAR MUSIC!

I am loving their seventh album, Drones ❤

Today in Cardioga, the entire playlist was Muse 😀

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It was a great workout, and the class did spectacularly!  They are growing so much, and developing and teaching the classes has done WONDERS for my fitness 🙂

Today is also day 18 of the 30 Days of Skating challenge!

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I am so excited to meet a whole bunch of these skaters next month at RollerCon!!!!

Tomorrow I hope to get in an outdoor skate, Saturday is the next Sintral bout and I’m reffing, and then Sunday is a skate event in Jacksonville! 

12 more days in the challenge,  and I’d like to continue lacing my skates on every day. I also want to custom build a set,  but that will be another post altogether 🙂

Loves of my life

fat loss, fitness, healing, health, healthy lifestyle, inspiration, inspire, life, motivation, recovery, relax, roller derby, roller skating, skating, sports, strength, therapy, weight loss, wellness, yoga

Today is day 17 of the 30 Days of Skating challenge!

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STOKED EXCITEDNESSSSSS ❤

I made some interesting phone calls today and…good seeds have been planted 😀

Today I got an early start,  and taught yoga at YogaStudio8 in Palm Coast at 7am and 9am. Met some new people, praticed with familiar folks, and got to goof around afterwards on my skates 😀

Later on I taught my regular Wednesday class, and took a friend's class on the river. Yoga all damn day, and HAPPY to do it! Great day, and I needed it 🙂

I also caught myself checking out my reflection when I was tidying up after one of the classes…

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I’ve been through ups and downs,  which is all part of the process with managing a lifestyle adjustment.

This is the upswing.

Great things are happening. 

I’m leaner, faster, and getting more cut, I feel more calm in my mind, and my heart is lighter. 

This is the next chapter.

There’s no starting over, no new beginnings, time race is on
just gotta keep on keepin on
Got to keep on going, looking straight out on the road
Can’t worry about what’s behind you or what’s coming for you further up the road
Silver Lining by First Aid Kit

MONDAY FUNDAY!

beach, fat loss, fitness, florida, healing, health, healthy lifestyle, inspiration, inspire, life, mindfulness, motivation, roller derby, roller skating, RollerCon, skating, strength, therapy, wellness

I’m a bit excited, because Mondays are when my buddy Durdy and I get to skate, and then I take yoga at 6:30! Today also marks the halfway point of our 30 Days of Skating challenge!

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and…

…I GOT MY ROLLERCON PASS TODAY.

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Glad we practiced our mula bandha engagement this weekend in training!

OKAY.

After I left Durdy’s and headed to yoga, I had this huge wave of relief and forgiveness wash over me, and a SECOND later,  someone passed me on the road that I had JUST been thinking about. 

I had a dream about this woman on Thursday night, and in the dream I told her to go fuck herself. So, I clearly needed to address, accept,  and alchemize that anger. Today in our adventures, Durdy spoke about learning to realize people have their own shit, and we all just need to love ourselves.  We talked about the courage to be weird,  the strength to be brave, the experiences that teach us humility and compassion. 

The past few days have been cathartic and exhausting, and it’s been a cleansing, renewing process. More pieces are falling into place,  and I know and trust that good things are continuing to flow my way, and I’m happy to let them.

Let it flow,  let it flow 🙂

The gift of choice, and the power of will

accident, fitness, healing, health, healthy lifestyle, inspiration, inspire, life, mindfulness, motivation, peace, recovery, roller skating, RollerCon, skating, strength, therapy, wellness, yoga

It’s already day 14 of the 30 Days of Skating challenge! The month is flying by, and RollerCon is nearing!!!

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These skaters ❤

It's a big deal for me to be a part of this,  not only to be strong and lead 1200+ people through an international challenge, but to be human, vulnerable, and authentic about my journey.

This morning, I had a setback. I woke up in massive pain, the worst since the accident. By the grace of God, I haven't taken any pain pills or muscle relaxers (though they were prescribed, I chose not to fill them), but today I thought about it.

However,  yesterday we had a foam roller workshop, which was aptly timed! I rolled out some of the junk in my back and had a bit of relief before our last training day of the weekend.

When Kim told us that injuries are our best teachers, she wasn't playing around.  This has humbled me, and even bigger, has taught me to accept things as they are. Even deeper…

…accepting myself as I am.

I am.

There is so much power in that.

“I am” is the shortest and most powerful sentence; it is complete by itself, and though simple, it is incredibly profound. 

Just like the sentence “I am” is complete, so am I.

I was told I said something deep and fitting at the end of class during savasana, and though I have no clue what words I used, I spoke about the power of I Am, and the gift of choice. That is our greatest power. 

Free will.

No one “makes” us do anything.  Sure, people can inspire us, but we are masters of our actions, owners of the thoughts that create our reality.

So, today I chose to fully accept myself, as I am. There may be things I want to change, but it ain’t gonna stick if I don’t accept and appreciate life NOW.

The present is all there is.  We only get moments.

So let’s make each and every single one count  ❤

Clever titles go here when my brain works :-P

accident, balance, fat loss, fitness, healing, health, healthy lifestyle, inspiration, inspire, life, life coaching, mindfulness, motivation, peace, recovery, reflection, roller skating, skating, sports, strength, therapy, weight loss, wellness, yoga

Such an amazing day, and worth the tired, stinky, hungry, sweaty puddle I turned into 😛

Let’s start with the challenge!  Today is day 13 of 30!

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Gahhhh!!! ❤ Epic wins today! Skaters from the challenge meeting one another (how ominous is that?!), and celebrations galore, with a school graduation and Fresh Meat grads! These skaters are remarkable  ❤

Today I started the day with love, joy and excitement in my heart, because I knew I'd be coming back to practice at Kula today! Last night Kim invited us to her class at Kula and I knew I had to go 🙂  Got to Kula super early so I could get in skate time in the parking lot (which I've been wanting to do for over a year!) and get my mat down early because I knew Kim's class would be full. Had a gorgeous skate and felt SUPER stoked for class! I hadn't been to Kula since January!

Kula is my very first yoga love. All my loves stay with me in my heart, but that first always holds a very, very special place ❤ It felt so wonderful to see so many folks I've missed. And it's their first day of teacher training! Great energy there today ❤ So much love 🙂

I also noticed something particularly interesting. Though I know I've made progress in the physical aspect of my yoga practice, it's truly what has happened to me on the inside that is the most significant. I've pretty much come to accept that whatever happens happens as far as progress, & I don't really put too many expectation on myself. What I discovered this morning is how I feel in difficult moments in my practice. In the past, when I would get very frustrated, I would certainly express it. I'd react with an exasperated sigh, a shake of the head, sobbing, or several times I would get angry and curse out loud. There have also been panic attacks.

I still get wrapped up in my head, but the reactions are vastly different now. There are smiles, hell I even laugh about it sometimes! And every now and then, I'l cry, or start to feel panicky. But thank God, it subsides.

There have been moments of…peace.

Contentment. Acceptance. Self-love. Self-compassion.

The kind of stuff I hear about, read about, see in the practices of the students I teach.

It’s happening to me as well.

When I started teacher training, my objective was to learn to calm the demon. And though that demon still rides with me (and that's okay), it doesn't get to drive anymore.

It's been an emotionally and physically exhausting weekend, but just like with all training,  it is SO worth it.

Great things are happening, and I am allowing them to. I'm physically back to where I was before the accident, hell perhaps even more fit. I am shredding fat and gaining strength and muscle again. I feel firmer and leaner, and folks tell me they see it.

My body is shifting. My LIFE is shifting.

Brenda, my life coach, says we contract as we expand. 

I sure have not been on a linear path, so my healing echos that. Ups and downs. 

The great story, after all, is in the journey 🙂

Permission to SHINE!

choices, fitness, healing, health, healthy lifestyle, inspiration, inspire, life, mindfulness, motivation, recovery, roller skating, skating, strength, wellness, yoga

Today is day 12 of the 30 Days of Skating challenge!

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The family involvement, including pets, touches me, and what an honor to host and witness folks coming together, sharing in this wonderful experience.  So, so blessed ❤

I'm in teacher training for yoga, and this will be our last learning weekend. We have one more after this, and then we  officially complete our training and test for our certifications.

It hit me SUPER hard today how real everything is…everything I've spent the last 6 months, the last 8 years…truly the last 20 years working toward. I complete my training right when my employment contract expires.

It's no coincidence how these events aligned.
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There is a purpose. 

Shit happens. Life happens. What do we do when the shit hits the fan? STOP LETTING SHIT IN YOUR HOUSE.

I've only got room in my life for good. 

The year is almost half way done. When 2015 started, I said I was beating life to the punch and challenging myself.

Kinda bit off more than I could chew…then.

Now is a different story.

For the second time my life, I'm recovering from an irreparable, permanent, doctors-can't-explain-how-I-am-healing injury.

And this is why medicine is called a "practice." I've told my mentors the same thing I told my doctor. I'm going to learn a lot in this process, but I'll teach you something, too.

Just as I start getting mindfucked about the seemingly scary future ahead, I remember that not only have I overcome everything that has come at me, but I have conquered it. Everything.

I can do ANYTHING.

"As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." – Marianne Williamson 

It's showtime.