When does the posture begin?

healing, health, life, meditation, mindfulness, peace, sports, therapy, weight loss, yoga

One of life’s remarkable lessons that I’m learning is how to take my intensity down and still be passionate, yet refined. I gotta learn how to slow down and still be my awesome self. 

Balance. I’m such a Libra. Life’s always been about finding balance.

Jodi, one of the owners and bad ass instructors at Kula Yoga says, “when does the posture begin? When we want to come out.”

Growth happens when we go just past discomfort. Athletes know this all too well. We work past our mental blocks and just let our bodies DO things.  Our muscles are remarkable, regrowing and strengthening from struggle.

Life itself is fucking uncomfortable. We do things we don’t need to.  Our attachments make things so complicated. There’s so much fear.

Yoga has been an amazing way to learn to deal with being uncomfortable.  Every yogi has that one posture that creates bad feelings. Dude…my hips have been feeling it since Friday. I’ve had to deal with a LOT of feelings with them sore hips! So much stuff in there!

Sunday I got in a great slow flow class, and Thursday night’s Yin felt completely natural. There’s been a trend lately where I notice myself saying, “that was my best game!” or, “that was my best practice!” or, “that was my best (whatever)”.

I feel more in tune and resisting less. The less I resist, the more naturally things come to me.

Embrace it all as good. ALL of it. It doesn’t matter what happens, it’s how it’s handled. There is opportunity on all things. Everything is a lesson.

Rehabilitating from an injury while practicing yoga got me to learn to take it easy on myself. So what if I had to modify my side plank, or drop to my knees for low plank? Why did I even give a shit about it in the first place?

Those things we do on the mat carry into our lives. What do I do when I’m in a room full of people and I’m about to fall out of Dancer’s Pose (MY NEMESIS)?  Run out because it’s hard and I’m scared of balances?

No. No, today, I got my foot OVER MY HEAD. To hell with that pose,  I’m just going to DO it. And if I fall out? So what?! Pfft. Shit happens! I just bring my hands to heart-center, breathe, and try again. 

I got to practice with two favorites today, and tomorrow night is Buti 🙂 The class is incredibly fun, and Christy always shares precisely what we need to hear.  The words really sink in because for an hour before the words, she kicks our asses!

Isn’t that how it works? The best art is forged from struggle.  Our hearts speak the loudest when broken. Warriors are created in battle.

Train hard, easy fight.

Several years ago when I was just about ready to embark on my wellness journey, I said that I was tired of being the fighter, and I just wanted to be an artist. It doesn’t work that way,  at least not for me. There will always be struggle, and I’m strong because of it.

However, I can do it gracefully and with class 🙂


Don’t judge me for being thick, judge me because I’m an asshole!

fat loss, healing, health, life, mindfulness, weight loss, yoga

Today as I set up to teach my 6:00 a.m. yoga class, a few fit ladies came into the yoga room, looked at me, giggled among themselves, walked into an office, and laughed some more. I fully and gladly understand that whatever they were talking about has nothing to do with me, and even if it is about me, I know it’s not personal. I know not to take it personally. What disappoints me is a trend I am seeing in my experience in the fitness industry so far. It baffles me that we go into this business for the sake of helping people, and yet that pettiness, that judgment, and the very antithesis of helping people exists.

I’m experiencing this now. I am half my former body size, and yet this judgment still exists. The first time I lost a hundred pounds, I went to a seminar and a sales representative for a weight loss product approach me. This was *after* I lost a hundred pounds.

No matter what, people always judge us. And that’s their prerogative. It is exactly that, their prerogative. It is none of our business what other people think of us, say about us, or tell us how they feel about us.

The health and fitness industry, like many industries, has its virtues and its flaws. I know I’m going to be immensely successful in this business because I can be real with people, & I am glad to be the black sheep. There is a norm, and have rarely been one to conform to a norm.

I am going to be a becon of light for people who have been subjected to this childish bullshit themselves.  To help people, we need to speak their language.

This experience gives me a lot to be grateful for, and only affirms my faith. Actually got a really brilliant idea for my business spawned from today’s experience, so I am immensely grateful for everything that I learned today!

Excessively wheysted

accident, fat loss, healing, health, nutrition, sports, weight loss

It took me over two years to lose one hundred pounds of excess fat and to really let healthy habits stick. From the time I started – and I actually even mention it in the second video in my YouTube video series 100 Reasons to Lose 100 Pounds – I knew I wanted to focus on whole foods and lose the weight by eating right and working out.

In that time, I tried a lot of things. A LOT. Like so many people working on a healthy lifestyle transition, I dabbled in various diets, fasts, detoxes and such. For a while I was also supplementing, and some things stuck around, and others would come and go.

I wanted to have a good deal of experience before even touching on the subject of supplementation, and I want to be wholly forthright that as of this posting, I am speaking from personal insight only. I am working on obtaining more education and earning credentials to speak with knowledge as well as insight, but again for now, this is strictly from personal experience.

Quite often when strength training, many of us supplement our protein with a protein powder, and after trying several products and types of powders, I fell into a rhythm of regularly using whey protein. I missed using it whenever I’d do the Whole 30 challenges, but of the various “diets” I tried, I liked the Whole 30 the most. I still utilize some great practices from that nutrition plan, and mix in other healthy things that I enjoy.

Wow I’m doing a pretty good job continually focusing on positive and not going on a rant about diets!


Okay back on point…

In my experience as a woman who has lost one hundred pounds twice now, and has struggled with healthy habits for my entire life, when someone comes along with help and solutions, it’s very, very seductive. When the goal is met…y’all the seduction continues. As I progressed in my fitness journey, I was approached by FIVE supplement companies. FIVE. It got to the point where with an initial message or text, I KNEW what was about to go down.

I would hear how inspiring I was and how I would be GREAT leading a team, and to support and encourage them to reach their goals! YES! That’s what I wanted!



I resisted for a bit, though admittedly, I was still using my own combination of products (whey protein and creatine pretty much daily, and I started trying out branched chain amino acids (BCAA) pre-workout and often before bedtime). Finally, I was a bit more open-minded to products distributed through independent distributors (knowing that it was very likely a multi-level marketing approach). Still, I wanted to remain receptive, especially if it meant trying products I was familiar with and could possibly lead toward me helping people by my experiences.

What I’m coming to realize is, like caffeine and more indulgent snacks, perhaps I can incorporate these things into my life every now and then, but currently I want to take a month-long holiday from product usage and let my body reset. I mean, from the very start, I didn’t need anything but food and water (well, and a whole lotta motivation), and until I started using products, I didn’t miss them. We can’t miss what we never had, so I’ll work on weening myself off and then start my cleanse.

I participated in a nation-wide 24 day challenge, and half way through, the accident happened. I was at my athletic pinnacle; I worked out for 5 hours two days prior, did my hardest yoga class before playing my ass off and earning MVP jammer the night before, and then that Monday morning things changed BIG time for me.


Strong Saturday! Super Sunday! MOPEY MONDAY.

Well, after the wreck, I wanted to let my body recover and though I ate healthy, I ate bunches. Whenever I get hurt, I need a few days to mope and eat too many carrots and natural peanut butter. I’ll nosh on like 6 bananas a day. They help, but dude 6 bananas is an excess 500-600 calories, yo.

I got a bit “fluffy” on the challenge. My two-a-day workouts got diminished to stretching, meditation, prayer, yoga, Epsom salt baths, physical therapy, doctor visits and a lot of calming the demon. I was also drinking 2-4 post workout recovery shakes (110-220 calories a pop) a day after the accident.

Needless to say, the challenge didn’t yield the results that I had planned, and surely not what the challenge hosts had planned. It kinda pretty much backfired.

But maybe it needed to.

I can gladly talk to people about health, food, my personal journey, happiness, finding the Light in the darkness, encouraging stuff, things that I have credible life experience and insight on. Shit, I’m no expert. But I’m well educated from the school of hard knocks!

When I went on the challenge, people asked me about it and I said wait until I’m through before I give my insight. Well, I’m through it, and through I don’t regret the experience, it doesn’t trump my experience with whole, clean nutrition.

Supplements to me are yet another thing that I’ve tried out, and I could go either way on them personally. I really prefer to stick to what’s natural. If it’s not readily accessible to me through nature or a grocery store, then maybe it’s not what my body naturally needs. However, I won’t judge people for using safe products. I can speak about my experiences and share what I learned.

However, it’s odd to me that so much stuff is added to supplement nutrients. What else are we putting into our bodies in order to get this nourishment?

I realized yesterday that an energy supplement I was taking is catabolic. CATABOLIC! I had no idea that I reduced my tea intake to put THREE TIMES as much caffeine in my body with the supplement! So now I have to ween myself down off the supplement to become less caffeine dependent, and I want to do it soon because if I can’t lift right now (not for a few weeks), then HELL NO to putting something catabolic in my body!

So, I’m breaking down what I supplement, and why I do it. Then, I’m coming up with a list of things I will use in place of the supplements. Also, I’ll create a plan to ensure that I’m well-prepared!

Taking: Energy drink supplement

Holiday: Black tea, green tea, B-vitamins, almonds, fruits

Taking: Electrolyte replacement drink
Holiday: cucumber-infused water/cucumber and coconut water, my cocktail of coconut water/diluted coconut milk with salt and agave, cocktail #2 of water, salt, lemon and agave, more electrolyte-rich foods post-workout (celery, strawberries, cantaloupe)

Taking: post-workout recovery

Holiday: post-workout snacks with 3:1 carb:protein. Examples:yogurt with fruit/granola, bananas and nuts/peanut butter, turkey and apples, soy nuts and fruit…so many options.

Taking: whey protein powder

Holiday: Preparing in advance, more egg whites, lean proteins, tofu/soy. I use the whey mainly in my morning oats or in a protein shake, so I’ll get more creative with breakfast!

Taking: Amino Acids (BCAA, Argenine)
Holday: This is a big one. I may be getting in TOO much protein, so who knows if I even need aminos? I didn’t need them before I started taking them, and straight up, I was more ripped before!

I gave up creatine when I started the challenge and especially when I started supplementing aminos. Thought I liked it and did experience benefits in strength, muscle mass and recovery, I also know damn well over time that’s not the best product for my kidneys.

So, while I remain non-judgmental on safe and reliable product consumption, it’s something that I’m going to take a break from. When I did the 24-day challenge, I knew I wanted to do a 24-day challenge without product usage. The timing just fell into place and I’m excited to get back to basics.

Things are falling into place marvelously. I finally found the balls to reach out to a life coach and get in on an advising session with her. FINALLY. I had a great consultation with another friend and mentor and discussed my eating habits, and got great insight from her, as well as updated body measurements including BMI. I needed that. I was relying on weight for too long, this will help me with my next goals. She also gave me great direction in prioritizing, and how to further the credentials I’m looking for as a part of this health and fitness community.

Kimbo saw me for her yoga class that night and mentioned how much better I looked. I felt so relieved, like I was finally going in the direction I intended to, felt more focused, and felt closer to myself again. I had a wonderful yoga practice. My balances were so strong, strongest they’ve been in a good while, and my Crow was on point!

You know, I said my life was about to change drastically. I had no idea it would happen this way; shit the major life stuff never happens like we planned it to. However, this is yet another example of what happens when we put an intention out there. It just manifests.

Every step I feel closer to my goals. I have a list of three major ones, and they’re coming together. The last is the cherry on top…we won’t go there just yet.

…but when we do, it’s going to be magical. Like, fairy tale shit.