Making a deposit in the bank where I store great stuff

fitness, healing, health, healthy lifestyle, inspiration, inspire, life, life coaching, motivation, reflection, strength, wellness

I said this to a friend when I saw her a couple weeks ago, right after I jumped out of a plane and REALLY understood some pretty huge concepts on the ride back to the ground.

“You’re not only capable of doing this. You deserve it. You know that, yeah? Cuz you do.”

So guys, please do yourselves a favor and quit the shit with what you did wrong, why you shouldn’t have great things, and fucking cockblocking the best things that are falling RIGHT into your lives and presenting themselves as opportunities.

If the thought, motivation, and DESIRE to do or have something is persistently on your mind, then you need to just fucking do it.

There is no “right time.” There are only so many goddamn Mondays that you can start over.

If you are tired of staring over, then STOP GIVING UP.

This is your wake -up call from your no-frills, bullshit-free, in-your-face leader.

This is a volunteer army, and led by an iron – willed, dogmatic, never-going-back witness to what PERSONAL POWER can bring when we ALLOW it.

Stop getting fucked, and let life make love to you.

The very best to you all, now and always,

– SMASH

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Thanks for the clam jam!

gay, healing, lesbian, LGBT, life, mindfulness, peace, wellness, women

So , anyone else experience a taco block? A clam jam? Does anybody even know what I’m talking about?

These are the lesbian equivalents to a cockblock 🙂

I’ve had about some conversations recently about what makes a person gay. While this phrasing can be upsetting for some folks, I want to remind people that curiosity is the thing that should be recognized, and we should not view the asker as ignorant. There’s a lot of sensationalism going on about about transgender, gay, and seemingly “different” people. I for one am particularly glad that this is happening, because people are waking up and asking questions. In my personal experience, I found the best community within the friendship of my straight allies. While I have a deep and profound love for the LGBT community, it was this community that made it very uncomfortable for me to come out in the first place. 30 years of oppressing my sexuality, I’m sure you can imagine the struggle I was facing. And the freedom that came from finally letting myself be authentically who I truly am. My straight friends made this transition incredibly comfortable for me.

There are some remarkably amazing things going on in my life right now, & I will definitely be getting into details within the next several weeks, especially in July. For now, let’s talk about some struggles I’m having as I embark on furthering my success.

Naturally, since I am working toward my greater good and setting myself up for a long term, sustainable future, of course I’m easily distracted by pretty faces and beautiful women. I’ve had a realization a few weeks ago that I’m ready to entertain the idea of making space for somebody in my life, and through experience I’m finding that there is a lot of work behind supporting an intention. I preach this all the time, & use it when I coach my clients, and yet it’s still something that I marvel when it applies to my life as well. We have to do a lot of work in order to get successful, and then we have to do as much work if not more to sustain that success. I’m finding that with my persistance necessary, especially when it comes to women… and how to be persistent in resisting some of them . Even more so, I’m finding more success by letting go of expectations, and being receptive to what comes my way. I’ve come to an understanding that the limits and confines of my mind are exactly that. My thoughts are limited. Becoming receptive to the infinite good that’s out there, and all the goodness that I’ve put out there to receive good, is manifesting.

So, I find it interesting that when there’s a woman I’m going after, I have a friend literally space themselves between me and that woman. This is happened to me twice, and it’s interesting the timing that this all came together.

There is one woman in particular that I had what I thought to be pretty intense feelings, and now I know that the intensity came from ideas that I created in my head, and not from the reality of the situation. However, if a woman is intelligent, beautiful, and has particularly gorgeous eyes, legs and butt, there’s not much I do to avoid an attraction. All I can do is recognize if what’s inside is good for me and go from there. And sometimes, people are just meant to be friends. Hot friends are good 🙂 Anyway, with this one woman in particular, the last time we really got a chance to see each other, as she was approaching me, a woman came between us. Long story short, the woman that I thought I was interested in was taco blocked by my now best friend. Later on it came to discover that she indeed was not a right match for me, but I met my new best friend in that process. My aim was off, but God and the universe knew exactly what to do. There was yet another instance of this, where a different woman was coming to approach me, & another friend of mine, whether she knew what she’s doing or not, saved my ass for making a ridiculously stupid mistake with yet another of the wrong kind of woman.

I am immensely grateful for these two friends that are so close to me, because they know and see things in me that I struggle with seeing within myself. Truly, they really know my heart. I don’t give myself enough credit for the kind of heart that I have, and I know damn well I’ve got a good heart.

I’ve been seeing a lot of the colors green and blue, green in particular. Green is the heart chakra, and in my meditations recently, I realized that my heart really is innocent, pure, good, and full of wonderful intention. I’ve been focusing on taking that love that I extend outwardly to so many and let it suffuse me within.

The hidden blessing of a taco block…

So, universe, I get it, and thanks for watching my back. I waited long enough,  so what is just a bit more?

Trust and surrender…all good things coming my way 🙂

Beware the emptiness of a busy life

life

A long while ago, I heard that when people find out they have a terminal illness, naturally people detract from them. This also happens when people have experienced any kind of difficulty, such as losing a job, getting injured, losing a loved one, or any one of many reasons for being down and out. What’s beautiful about these moments is that we see truly remarkable people come to our side, and the people that can bear us at our worst times deserve us at our best.

A friend recently passed away. I’d gotten involved with some of my own life stuff, and lost touch a little bit with some friends of mine. One day I was just missing them, and asked if they would like to catch up and have lunch. I just wanted to see them, & I found out about our loss when we were having lunch together.

Judi was a mother, a partner, a grandmother, a friend, and a light in everyone’s life that she touched. Her son and her partner were the guys that gave me the news.

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Today I got to hang out with my buddy Dave, who was Judi’s partner. When he asked me to join him on a bike ride, I thought of my to-do list for the day, and all the stuff I need to do to prepare myself for the week ahead. But,  I gave my word and I was gonna do it. On my ride to our meetup spot, my chain came off and I had to fix it, my gears, and get my settings right again. I was a bit afraid I might have a problem,  but trusted I could fix it.

We met up, had a beautiful ride, an awesome lunch, and the best part was just enjoying the company of a good friend.

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I told Dave about some things that I’m working on to propel my life in the direction that I envisioned for a long time, and I’m ready to finally take the big leap. When I told him about the kind of car I want, as we were riding around beachside Ponce Inlet, he said, “now you can start looking for the kind of real estate you want to park that car at!” 🙂

We all have different reasons for pains of the heart. I realized again today the importance of being around people, to stay involved and not isolate myself, and to be aware of the emptiness of a full life.

There were more surprises today,  as Dave and I took an impromptu trip to Jacksonville!  So, my to-do list for the day went by the wayside, and in all candor,  I don’t mind one bit 🙂

And Judi, I’ll keep an eye on him ❤
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Dark horse with a bright light

healing, life, life coaching, mindfulness, peace

“I don’t know what you’ve been thinking, but you can’t keep thinking with that stinking thinking. If you keep on thinking what you’ve always thought, then you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.”

That quote is from Dawn, a woman I met when speaking at the local prison.  She and I are part of a group of community members that speak to men who are going to be re-entering citizens within a few months, and every time she speaks, she says that quote and makes them all say it with her.

I particularly enjoy speaking to the inmates because I can be real with them. Whenever I start any presentation, I gauge my audience to determine how best to speak to them. With folks who have had it rough, it’s easy to be direct.

I’m still learning to be authentic, yet more refined. As I work on stepping up, becoming more polished is a part of that. Time, learning from experience,  and patience will help, but I am also enlisting the help of people who are experts in what I need assistance with.

I’ve been given a lot of perspective,  and decided to do things I’ve needed and wanted to do.  So, I finally made the call and had a consultation with a life coach!

Also, talk about manifesting.  I gave myself a monthly budget for my business (setting money aside to invest in the business), and my coaching is the EXACT AMOUT I planned for!

I had avoided speaking with her for MONTHS. I had her business card and threw it away! DERP!

Glad I finally reached out to her,  I feel much better and like I can actually execute my plans! I need to focus and stay on track, and this is exactly what I was looking for.

We all have reasons for our life’s loves, our passions, and our work. I want to help people who share my struggles. Insight comes from experience,  and damn I have plenty of experience,  particularly from exceptionally bad decisions! As I have learned from many mistakes of my own and the mistakes of others, errors and experience are the best teachers.

I want to work with people in many walks of life, and I feel drawn to battle-worn people; people who have bern hurt by others, by themselves, by life’s traumas.

When talking to people in the wellness business,  I describe myself as the dark horse of the industry.  My coach said, “dark horse with a bright light.”

Sounds spot-on to me 🙂