Thanks for the clam jam!

gay, healing, lesbian, LGBT, life, mindfulness, peace, wellness, women

So , anyone else experience a taco block? A clam jam? Does anybody even know what I’m talking about?

These are the lesbian equivalents to a cockblock 🙂

I’ve had about some conversations recently about what makes a person gay. While this phrasing can be upsetting for some folks, I want to remind people that curiosity is the thing that should be recognized, and we should not view the asker as ignorant. There’s a lot of sensationalism going on about about transgender, gay, and seemingly “different” people. I for one am particularly glad that this is happening, because people are waking up and asking questions. In my personal experience, I found the best community within the friendship of my straight allies. While I have a deep and profound love for the LGBT community, it was this community that made it very uncomfortable for me to come out in the first place. 30 years of oppressing my sexuality, I’m sure you can imagine the struggle I was facing. And the freedom that came from finally letting myself be authentically who I truly am. My straight friends made this transition incredibly comfortable for me.

There are some remarkably amazing things going on in my life right now, & I will definitely be getting into details within the next several weeks, especially in July. For now, let’s talk about some struggles I’m having as I embark on furthering my success.

Naturally, since I am working toward my greater good and setting myself up for a long term, sustainable future, of course I’m easily distracted by pretty faces and beautiful women. I’ve had a realization a few weeks ago that I’m ready to entertain the idea of making space for somebody in my life, and through experience I’m finding that there is a lot of work behind supporting an intention. I preach this all the time, & use it when I coach my clients, and yet it’s still something that I marvel when it applies to my life as well. We have to do a lot of work in order to get successful, and then we have to do as much work if not more to sustain that success. I’m finding that with my persistance necessary, especially when it comes to women… and how to be persistent in resisting some of them . Even more so, I’m finding more success by letting go of expectations, and being receptive to what comes my way. I’ve come to an understanding that the limits and confines of my mind are exactly that. My thoughts are limited. Becoming receptive to the infinite good that’s out there, and all the goodness that I’ve put out there to receive good, is manifesting.

So, I find it interesting that when there’s a woman I’m going after, I have a friend literally space themselves between me and that woman. This is happened to me twice, and it’s interesting the timing that this all came together.

There is one woman in particular that I had what I thought to be pretty intense feelings, and now I know that the intensity came from ideas that I created in my head, and not from the reality of the situation. However, if a woman is intelligent, beautiful, and has particularly gorgeous eyes, legs and butt, there’s not much I do to avoid an attraction. All I can do is recognize if what’s inside is good for me and go from there. And sometimes, people are just meant to be friends. Hot friends are good 🙂 Anyway, with this one woman in particular, the last time we really got a chance to see each other, as she was approaching me, a woman came between us. Long story short, the woman that I thought I was interested in was taco blocked by my now best friend. Later on it came to discover that she indeed was not a right match for me, but I met my new best friend in that process. My aim was off, but God and the universe knew exactly what to do. There was yet another instance of this, where a different woman was coming to approach me, & another friend of mine, whether she knew what she’s doing or not, saved my ass for making a ridiculously stupid mistake with yet another of the wrong kind of woman.

I am immensely grateful for these two friends that are so close to me, because they know and see things in me that I struggle with seeing within myself. Truly, they really know my heart. I don’t give myself enough credit for the kind of heart that I have, and I know damn well I’ve got a good heart.

I’ve been seeing a lot of the colors green and blue, green in particular. Green is the heart chakra, and in my meditations recently, I realized that my heart really is innocent, pure, good, and full of wonderful intention. I’ve been focusing on taking that love that I extend outwardly to so many and let it suffuse me within.

The hidden blessing of a taco block…

So, universe, I get it, and thanks for watching my back. I waited long enough,  so what is just a bit more?

Trust and surrender…all good things coming my way 🙂

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