Derby coach: “Smash you gotta relax your shoulders. You’re too tense when you skate.”
Me: “Yeah cuz I’m all messed up from breaking my ankle on this floor! How can I relax?”
Coach: “I dunno, do some fuckin’ yoga.”
And that is how my yoga journey started in March of 2014 🙂
This morning was the last day of the 30 day challenge I did with Kula Yoga, and my last practice before I start instructor training this evening at Blue Moon. It was an emotional one for me, and lately my balances have been off, so I was feeling the need to find my ground. I worked on staying calm. In training, I know I’m going to experience some huge growth and work on my next big objective: calm the demon.
Derby got me into yoga, and now when I skate, I’m not obsessing in my head and I’m actually having fun. In yoga, I’ve learned to focus just on breathing and staying present, but like many lessons, it needs practice for it to stick.
Physically, I’m *very* capable. I’ll grow, I’ll get stronger, I’ll have a better practice. What is going to be profoundly revolutionary and evolutionary is what’s going to happen to my heart and my mind. Tears came when I pondered if I’m capable, or if I’m going to allow myself to let this shit go.
I seek opportunity in all things and as an idealist, outcomes in my mind tend to be highly favorable. So, when I see the group of people sharing their practice with me this morning, I can’t help but see that as life’s sign of telling me I have their blessing to go on this next great journey.
A while back, I read a blog post from a fellow Kula yogi who had finished her challenge there, and was moving to start a new career. I read that post sitting in the same plaza I am in now. I was having car trouble that day, too.
When an intention is set, the how is irrelevant. It just happens when the conviction behind the intention is strong. I find myself wrestling with both accepting that big things are happening, and letting myself have all this good. There’s a lot of unknowns ahead, and the ambiguity can be either scary, or exciting.
Courage isn’t lack of fear; rather, courage is taking action despite fear.
As I embark on my Personal Legend, I am experiencing the lesson on releasing attachment. As a skater, I have no league, I am unaffiliated. However, I skate with everyone. I have no car, but I have an opportunity to creatively problem-solve do this with a different approach. I had a schedule, but now I have to constantly adapt especially as I recover.
I have an opportunity to see things with an optimistic perspective, which to me is a clear choice because I can just move on forward and leave the shit in the past. I still have some thoughts and feelings with specific attachments, so I intend to learn to work through this in my training.
Saying goodbye, even if a temporary goodbye, is hard. I cried a lot this morning, wondering when I’d be back at Kula, sharing my practice with friends, some that I’ve grown very close to. After class, they gave me their blessing. So, I think about the goodbyes I’ve said so many times, and instead of this being a departure, it’s an open-ended round-trip.
Life always comes full circle, and as I sit here in the MRI center, it’s no coincidence that on the day I start my yoga teacher training, I’m also getting tools to keep healing my body. It’s also no coincidence that I was advised to practice yoga as part of my physical rehabilitation. What I learned to do in derby, which was the catalyst for my yoga journey, will come right back into my yoga practice.
Open your heart.
Let the Light in, and share it with everyone you see.
Namaste, and see you soon 🙂